Posted by Gravecat at 11:32 am under Energy Drink Reviews. Comments (2)
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I’m going to regret this. I just know it. After my abhorrent experience with the Relentless Energy Shot back in January — and Relentless is a brand I’ve grown to enjoy a great deal — I’m actually quite worried about trying the Monster version, especially given the angry warning labels and absurd concentration of stimulants. Similarly, my associate over at Transmundane had typically bad experience with the Lucozade Alert Plus, prompting me to believe that “energy shots” as a whole are simply the wretched concoction of the devil, a trade-off between horrid taste and an infusion of stimulants.
For those who care, we’re looking at 1000mg of taurine, 200mg of panax ginseng, 141mg of caffeine, 100mg of L-carnitine L-tartrate, 5mg of guarana, 5mg of inositol, and 5mg of glucuronolactone. This thing truly lives up to its name of being a monster, and I can see why they recommend not exceeding one per day.
On the other hand, my experience with Monster in the past has been unwaveringly positive — both the standard green can and the yellow variety combine the best aspects of soft and energy drinks, while the new (or, at least, new in the UK) Monster Kaos is what I could only describe as a Monster-ised version of Relentless Inferno, almost the sort of thing I’d expect if Fanta were to make their own brand of energy drinks. But enough hesitation, it’s time to crack this baby open and see what lies in store for our hapless hero.
Other than the disturbingly black-on-black bottle that lies beneath the protective outer layer, the initial odour is — dare I say it — pleasant, if tinged by a slight acrid edge that I’ve come to expect. It certainly has the distinctive Monster smell that I know and love, so all’s good so far. An experimental sip to ensure this isn’t going to be some substance that’ll cause me to retch violently, and– oh my. The sharp, harsh edge is still there as with the Relentless variety, but masked heavily by the kind of syrupy sweetness that one might find in the yellow and orange cans of Monster. The lingering aftertaste is fairly pleasant, and fades away to a relieving neutrality in a matter of seconds.
Time to chug.
Being a comparatively large vial, it takes a couple of gulps to get the whole lot down, but the overall pleasant flavour makes it go down with ease. At this point, I’d recommend leaving one in the fridge before trying it, which is what I did with mine — the chill blends wonderfully with the sweet, ever-so-slightly-acidic taste, and makes the whole experience surprisingly enjoyable.
Call me crazy, but I think this one stands head and shoulders above the last, and has changed my outlook on energy shots entirely; in fact, I’d be more than happy to buy in a dozen more of these little bottles, to live in the fridge for times when they’re needed. Once again, Monster comes through ahead of the pack, managing to perfect what others have clumsily attempted, and that’s why they remain my #1 favourite brand of energy drinks to this day.
Churchwood — March 31st, 2010 @ 11:43 am
Energy drinks kinda scare me. I’ve always gotten the impression that crack cocaine is probably easier on the human body.
Still, you make the stuff sound oddly enticing.
Gravecat — March 31st, 2010 @ 11:44 am
Oh, you have no idea. This shit’s starting to kick in now, and I feel more wired than the time I accidentally electrocuted myself from a faulty mains wire.